A whole new world - and not the Aladdin kind.

If you're Australian, its more than likely you've just finished the hard slog that is the first 3 weeks of Term 1.

3 down, 7 to go!

It's tough. They don't know you, you don't know them. You can't help but compare them to last year's bunch and reflect on just how much work you have to do. It's a balance of highs and lows, and you slide into home at the end of the week in a crashing heap ready to do it all over again on Monday.

In my case, I'm balancing this with a feeling of absolute bewilderment.

You see, being a cocky 3rd year out teacher, this is a summary of my thought process in Term 4 last year:

Oh yeah. I'm pretty decent at this whole Stage 3 thing. I've got some great learning happening, we've got this mutual respect thing going on and I can manage challenging behaviour. Teaching Year 1 and Year 2 will be a breeze!

You said it Jean-Luc.

I know.

I KNOW.

WHAT THE #@!* WAS I THINKING?!

I've entered Stage 1 - a mythical magical land of phonemic awareness (what's that again?), 8 minute attention spans (on a good day) and a whole lot more bodily fluids and touching.

Seriously, little X. Hands out of your nose/mouth/pants. And don't touch me. Please.

We sing songs without being sarcastic. We dance without being ashamed of our lack of rhythm. EVERYTHING IS FUN. 

HEY GUYS. WE'RE ABOUT TO DO SOME HANDWRITING!

My class:

Pretty much every kid in my class is Buddy the Elf. All the time.

I'm in a whole new world. It's a very happy place, but also one that really REALLY tests your patience. And your voice box. AND your gag reflex.

So, for your amusement and a big dose of schadenfreude, here's a list of 10 things I have learnt so far:

1. Never tie a child's shoelaces. Especially a boy's. Aiming is not a talent for them.
2. Hand sanitiser is a handy investment. You'll use it multiple times a day.
3. Don't try to get your bottom reading group to read independently for 20 minutes. They'll have a pillow fight after 2 minutes and subsequently disturb the whole Guided Reading session.
4. Wobbly teeth are a constant occurrence, and I had no idea how truly creepy Ifound them until I had six kids showing me their teeth at once. *shudders*
5. You will find sandwiches/discarded fruit everywhere, and they won't pick it up, subsequently leaving grapes permanently cemented into your carpet.
6. CHILDREN EAT THEIR OWN BOOGERS.
7. AND ANYTHING THEY FIND LYING ON THE FLOOR. Seriously, X, get the masking tape marking my floor area out of your mouth. I've already asked you twice today.
8. Don't get annoyed when they tell you they forgot how to spell 'the'. You're going to be asked 5 more times in the next 10 minutes.
9. You will get random gifts. Some of which (food, tissues, things from their bags) should go straight into that 'special box for later' (aka the bin).
10. But....little kids love you. Wholeheartedly. Nothing you do will change that. Even if you get frustrated and keep them in half of lunch because they can't stand in two lines, they still come running back with big smiles. 

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